We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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