thus making me awesome and them whores
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
