Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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