Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
