Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
