and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
