sarcasm needs its own font
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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