A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
