Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
