I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
