Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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