I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i love accidental penises.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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