so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
