Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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