I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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