Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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