I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
