any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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