I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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