How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
