i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
