I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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