In the future we'll all be gay
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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