Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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