so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
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He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just want to make out with him forever
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Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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