Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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