I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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