I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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