dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
