i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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