so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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