Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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