I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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