You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dick very happy bro
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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