My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
