dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize