just come out here and I will go home with you...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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