So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize