My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
