God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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