sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
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Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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