I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
