when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
