if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
