they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
