walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He kissed a someone with a penis
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
