Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
