I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
