God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize