from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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