FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
