I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
