How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
