May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I need to align my fucking chakras
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
