I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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