I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize