therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
