What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
wow bdsm is so cute
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