It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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