I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my being single is dangerous.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
