the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
